Let’s Make A Scene

By Candace Fleming

Are you ready to dig down and get nitty-gritty with craft? I hope so, because today we’re talking… scenes! We can’t write narrative nonfiction without them.   

Scenes are the building blocks of true story; whether you’re writing a picture book, middle grade, or YA. Each scene is a microcosm of your larger story. Each takes the reader into a crucial moment in the narrative. And each not only drives the story forward, but also fosters a sense of immediacy by showing the action up close.           

A scene’s structure consists of three basic elements:

A specific time

A specific place

One change

Since the first two are self-explanatory, let’s focus on the third element, change. Think of your scene as a mini-story with a rising energy that builds to a change. Love to hate. Joy to sorrow. Belief to disbelief. Confusion to clarity. Something must be different at the end of the scene than at its beginning.     

Let’s take a look at this scene from Honeybee: The Busy Life of Apis Mellifera:

            On the morning Apis drops to the ground,

            the air is warm. The sun is rising. And the

            nectar is sweet.

                        She rolls to her back.

                                    Her legs move limply.

                                                Her wings beat limply.

            Above her, blossoms nod in the summer

            breeze.

            Apis stills.        

 

You’ll notice the scene starts as close to the action (dying) as possible. And it ends the moment the change occurs (death). It has a purpose because it shows the reader something vitally important to the story. It deepens reader emotion for the character. And it moves the story forward to its logical conclusion.

There are three types of scenes:

         No characters and one change:

In the heart of the command center, a single wire, stiff and brittle from 10,000 cycles of heating and cooling, snapped away from the circuit board. It set off an alarm--a pulse of electricity--that raced to a tiny light on a monitored panel. But the light,  never used and never tested, failed to switch on. Those two failures, broken circuit and burned out bulb, would have terrifying consequences. 

                 (From my forthcoming middle grade Bletchley Girls: The Teenagers Who Helped Win A War)        

         

        One character making one change:

But one day when MacArthur was two months old, zoo officials decided to take him back to the zoo. Helen held her baby close until the car came. And tried to smile as MacArthur was driven away. Then she folded up the baby blankets; stowed tub, crib, and bottles; and sank into the rocking chars with empty arms and an empty lap. 

 

(From the picture book Cubs In The Tub: The True Story of the Bronx Zoo’s First Woman Zookeeper)

           

Two or more characters one change:

                 Charles was on board doing his usual chores when  Bruce and Richard approached.  

                 “Colonel,” said Bruce. “I have a message for you.  They have found the  baby.”

 

                 “Found --?” cried Charles. 

 

                 “He is dead.” 

 

                 Charles rubbed his forehead. His eyes were bloodshot, and for a second he looked a little 

                  unsteady. Then he glanced around the cabin. “I’m going home,” was all he said.

                         

                  Alone, he drove through the darkness toward Hopewell.

 

                 (From the YA biography, The Rise and Fall of Charles Lindbergh)

           

Each has a specific place and time, as well as one change. But notice how that change (small, but complete) drives the story forward, compelling the reader to turn the page and find out what happens next. Additionally, each comes in close, using, dialogue and description, emotion, and atmosphere to show an event. They are active. And they are 100% accurate. Not a single detail – not that dialogue, the description of wires, the bloodshot eyes, or the forehead rubbing – is invented. This is nonfiction, after all, and every detail in our scenes must come from a reliable source.        

 

Scenes are held together by short sections of summary. Summary tells the reader something necessary without creating a full scene. You can use summary to transition between scenes, set the tone or mood for the next scene, leap forward in time, or explain something (context) your readers will need to understand the next scene. We can identify it by its lack of time and place. But just because summary is “telling” rather than “showing,” does not mean it’s boring. Good summary is compelling and should whet your reader’s appetite for the next scene. Here’s an example of a short scene flanked by two bits of summary:

 

Carter traveled by steamship to Alexandria, and by train to bustling Cairo, by ferry across the Nile River, and by donkey up a steep desert trail to a set of tombs carved high in the cliffs. (summary)          

That first night as he lay on a rough mattress made of woven palm sticks, he felt exhausted, overwhelmed, and a little homesick. He was, he told himself, “on the eve of an adventure.” The teenager’s new life had begun. (brief scene)

For months afterward, he copied the paintings that decorated the long, winding tunnels of the dark tombs…. (summary)

(From the forthcoming middle grade n/f The Curse of the Mummy)

        

The best narrative nonfiction is a mix of scene and summary. In my own writing--whether I’m tackling a picture book, or YA--my goal is to use as many scenes as possible. I try to use more scenes than summary. I try to keep my summary short.  

 

ACTIVITY

Now, it’s your turn. Gather up your favorite narrative nonfiction and identify the scenes. What is each changes effect upon the story? How does it drive the story forward? Is the scene designed to slow the pace (contemplative) or bring up the energy (suspense)? Look at the summary. Will it keep reader interest? Does the information it contains lead seamlessly to the following scene? And lastly, what’s the ratio of scene to summary? Do those books with more scenes read more compulsively? Do they have a stronger narrative impulse, drawing readers on with ease?

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Candace Fleming writes picture books, middle grade, and YA. Among her nonfiction titles are Giant Squid, Amelia Lost and The Family Romanov. She is the recipient of the Los Angeles Times Book Prize, and the Orbis Pictus Award, as well as the two-time recipient of both the Boston Globe/Horn Book Award for Nonfiction, and SCBWI’s Golden Kite Award for Nonfiction. This year she won ALA’s Sibert Medal for Honeybee: The Busy Life of Apis Mellifera, as well as the 2021 YALSA Excellence In Nonfiction Award for The Rise and Fall of Charles Lindbergh.

 

 

ABOUT THE PRIZE

Candace Fleming will be awarding a manuscript critique of a nonfiction picture book up to 1,500 words.

                       

           

           

 

Getting to the Truth

By Candace Fleming and Karen Blumenthal

Let’s start with a true story:

The summer Candy turned ten, she gobbled up a biography series about famous Americans. Ben Franklin. Clara Barton. Daniel Boone. The books brought these people from history to life for her. She felt like she truly knew them.

Later, she learned that many of the scenes in these books had been made up. Which parts? Who knows? The author hadn’t bothered to say. Candy felt deceived. Cheated. Biographies, she decided, could not be trusted, and she steered clear of them for years. 

That was decades ago, yet the line between nonfiction and fiction, between what is real and what is made up, seems blurrier than ever. And many of us seem suddenly confused about whether or not we’re crossing that line. At virtually every conference, (“Seriously,” Candy says, “every one”) the conversation turns to the question, “What is nonfiction?”  Or as one writer asked a panel of editors, “Can I still call my work nonfiction if I’ve added scenes that never happened, or dialogue that was never spoken?”



It’s a good question, and one we’d  like to consider at the start of our month-long exploration of the craft of nonfiction. Is what we’re writing based on supposition or personal bias rather than fact? Are we presenting our readers with honest scenes and characters that spring directly from the research material? Is background research – the context – reliable and complete? Our trustworthiness depends upon our truthfulness.

So, can we still call our work nonfiction if we’ve added scenes that never happened, or dialogue that was never spoken? What if we’ve conflated time, or created a composite character, or added sounds, smells, textures to scenes for which we have no documentation? Is that nonfiction?

Our answer is a resounding NO. It is unacceptable to pass fiction off as fact. Not even a little bit. Not even for the sake of art. Not in the name of emotional truth, or a better story. No, no, no, not ever. (Phew, we feel better!)  Every word spoken, every emotion displayed, every thought, every detail must be true. Even the weather. Even the color of the rug. It is our job to verify everything, check and double-check. All the details must be accurate. They must have a source. And if we make up even a teensy bit we must call our work “fiction.”  
 

To do otherwise is to deceive our readers. After all, when we say to kids, “this is nonfiction,” we’re promising that the way a person or event is presented is – to the best of our knowledge – truly how it happened. And I think we all agree that promises, especially to children, should never be broken.

So how do we dig down to the truth? How do we keep our nonfiction promises? Let’s examine some operating principles:

1. You’ve read a great book, interviewed a fascinating person or collected some startling facts online. Now you’re ready to start writing, right?

Sure, put down your initial thoughts, especially to capture your excitement. But never rely on a single source for your story, even for a short picture book. One view is never the whole picture.

2. Just because it appeared in print doesn’t mean it’s right. Both of us have found significant errors even in best-selling books by famous journalists and historians. Read footnotes and track down sources yourself, to make sure they’re legitimate and accurately portrayed.

Sometimes, we find that a mistake is repeated many times because everyone quoted the same inaccurate source. Double check dates and events through local newspapers or archives. (If you don’t have a subscription, you can usually access databases through your local library.) 

3. Primary sources are great – to a point. Autobiographies, oral histories, lengthy interviews and letters are amazing resources and often yield the best details, right down to what your main character ate for lunch. But every single person we’ve written a book about has stretched, embellished, or sugar-coated personal stories. It’s human nature.

The nonfiction writer’s job is to cut through the veneer and offer a clear-eyed portrayal. Look for accounts from others who were there or would know the story. Interview experts. Dig into archives. Examine photographs for clues.

4. Consider the source – and the lens the source looked through.  Many times, we’ve found that male authors from previous decades are quick to distort or diminish women’s accomplishments, or to call them “crazy” when they weren’t crazy at all. (Poor Mary Lincoln! Poor Carry Nation!) Similarly, people of color and indigenous peoples are frequently misrepresented in works by white authors. Seek out perspectives that aren’t white or male.

5. Go back to the beginning. The older the story, the more likely it has morphed into something different. People’s memories fade and shift, and stories can change completely over time. As best you can, work back to the origins of the story to be sure what you know is right.

6. Admit that some things are unknowable. Sometimes we can’t verify  what someone said or did. Sometimes, we just don’t know. So, rather than making something up, say so, either by attributing the information directly to the source in the text or explaining that something isn’t known. And painful as it is, sometimes we conclude that we have to just leave that juicy, fascinating tidbit out.

7. Share your research. Any worthwhile nonfiction should include at least a list of key sources behind the story. Longer form books should have some kind of source notes, whether they list sources for each quote or something more detailed.

True, kids may never look them up. But this is our way of being honest with the reader. After all, we promised to tell a true story!


ABOUT THE AUTHORS
 

Karen Blumenthal writes biographies and narrative nonfiction for young people, including Steve Jobs: The Man Who Thought Different and Bootleg: Murder, Moonshine, and the Lawless Years of Prohibition. Her books have received several awards, including a Sibert Honor, and have been finalists for the YALSA Excellence in Young Adult Nonfiction Award three times. Her next book, Jane Against the World: Roe v. Wade and the Fight for Reproductive Rights, is out Feb. 25 from Roaring Brook Press. When she’s not working, she is a dedicated procrastibaker and a hopeless Dallas sports fan.


 

Candace Fleming writes picture books, middle grade and YA biographies. Among her nonfiction titles are Giant Squid, Amelia Lost: The Life and Disappearance of Amelia Earhart, and The Family Romanov: Murder, Rebellion and the Fall of Imperial Russia.  2020 titles include The Rise and Fall of Charles Lindbergh and Honeybee: The Busy Life of Apis Mellifera.  She is the recipient of the Los Angeles Times Book Prize, and the Orbis Pictus Award, as well as the two-time recipient of the Boston Globe/Horn Book Award for Nonfiction, the ALA Sibert Honor, and SCBWI’s Golden Kite Award.



 
ABOUT THE PRIZES

Karen Blumenthal is giving away a selection of nonfiction books for older readers.

Candace Fleming is donating a manuscript review of a nonfiction picture book no longer than five manuscript pages.

Leave one comment below about what struck you in the post.

You’re eligible to win if you’re a registered NF Fest participant and you have contributed one comment below.